{80} “When I return to the world of speaking again, what would be a good quick mental check-in that I could use before I open my mouth and possibly make a mess of things? Any tips for Right Speech?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Meditation retreats] [Right Speech ] // [Truth] [Skillful qualities]
Sutta: MN 58.8: True, timely, and beneficial. [Right Speech ]
Teaching from Ajahn Chah: “Don’t bring up these issues before the meal.” [Ajahn Chah] [Monastic life] [Admonishment/feedback]
Thanksgiving Retreat 2011, Session 7, Excerpt 5
{100} “A question regarding the 5 precepts. In daily life, I am really good about keeping #1, 2, 3 and 5; but somehow I found that the precept #4 is really hard. I find myself lying everyday such as: ‘Do I look good?’ → Yes, of course. ‘Do you want to eat some more?’ → No, thanks, I’m full (but in fact the food didn’t taste good). Or speaking at a wrong time, speaking too long, too short, too harsh or speaking with a wrong tone of voice. This is the hardest one for me. Kindly advise. Thank you.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Five Precepts] [False speech ] [Right Speech ] // [Monastic life] [Precepts ] [Pāli] [Learning]
Quote: “The function of the precepts in terms of practice is to provide a mirror so we can understand our own intentions and volitions.” [Volition]
2014 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 6, Excerpt 1
{120} “During the Christmas holiday, I’m going to be spending some time with relatives who do not share my same political views. In the spirit of wanting to understand their views and wanting to heal the divide that exists in our country, I want to talk about the election with them. How do I have this conversation skillfully?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Politics and society ] [Right Speech ] // [Judgementalism] [Listening] [Human] [Sense restraint]
7. Qualities of Ajahn Chah’s speech. Reflection by Ajahn Sumedho. [Right Speech] [Ajahn Chah] // [Malicious speech] [Thai sects] [Fierce/direct teaching] [Trust] [Humor] [Goodwill] [Present moment awareness]
1. Reflections by Ajahn Pasanno on the value of noble silence during Winter Retreat. [Meditation retreats] [Idle chatter] [Right Speech] // [Community] [Culture/Natural environment] [Tranquility]
1. “What can we say to someone who is terminally ill? It seems the living can only offer sympathy. When I try to think of some way to comfort their mind, my words seem so out of touch and trivial.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Death] [Right Speech] // [Fear] [Recollection/Death] [Compassion] [Ajahn Pasanno]
Sutta: AN 5.57: Five Subjects for Frequent Recollection; (Chanting Book translation).
Quote: “You can’t go with a program you’ve thought out ahead of time.”
14. “I can know and let go of a past hurt, but what is a good Buddhist to do when the hurt is direct and in your face? For example, repeated verbal abuse by my partner? Lovingkindness can only go so far.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Relinquishment] [Abuse/violence ] [Buddhist identity] [Harsh speech] [Relationships] [Goodwill] // [Buddha/Biography] [Vinaya] [Admonishment/feedback]
Ajahn Pasanno recounts the mistakes he made admonishing monks as a new abbot. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Abbot] [Fierce/direct teaching] [Right Speech]
Recollection: Ajahn Chah was the person with the most lovingkindness I ever met, but if somebody was out of line, they would know about it. [Ajahn Chah]
Story: Ajahn Chah admonishes a big Western monk. [Truth]
3. “I am wondering about how to address social anxiety. For me it seems important in terms of continuity of practice. However, I’ve never heard any teachings about it. Did the Buddha ever teach talking meditation or some equivalent?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Community] [Fear] [Right Speech] // [False speech] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Mindfulness of body] [Tranquility]
Sutta: MN 10.8. [Clear comprehension]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno gives a talk during his first trip back to Canada.
5. “When I return to the world of speaking again, what would be a good quick mental check-in that I could use before I open my mouth and possibly make a mess of things? Any tips for Right Speech?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Meditation retreats] [Right Speech ] // [Truth] [Skillful qualities]
Sutta: MN 58.8: True, timely, and beneficial. [Right Speech ]
Teaching from Ajahn Chah: “Don’t bring up these issues before the meal.” [Ajahn Chah] [Monastic life] [Admonishment/feedback]
15. “Please explain the Fourth Precept, especially the idle talk part. It seems that we laypeople have idle talk all the time. Are we breaking this precept every day without knowing it?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right Speech] [Idle chatter] [Lay life] // [Pāli] [Volition] [Unskillful qualities] [Restlessness and worry]
18. “What are skillful views and opinions? And what are the indicators of a Dhammic conversation/dialogue?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Views] [Right View] [Right Speech] // [Conflict] [Suffering]
20. Meditation instruction: Use the end of noble silence to investigate the habits of mind regarding speech. Offered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Meditation retreats] [Right Speech] [Everyday life] // [Idle chatter]
4. “If my sister has unwholesome friendships, how can I help her redirect these?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Spiritual friendship] // [Compassion] [Judgementalism] [Right Intention] [Right Speech] [Admonishment/feedback]
Story: An Abhayagiri monk skillfully conveys concerns to his father. [Right Speech] [Abhayagiri]
7. “Given the situation in Burma with Buddhist monks fomenting violence against Muslims, how do you determine whether to respond to that vocally or publically?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [History/Other Theravāda traditions] [Conflict] [Politics and society] [Monastic life] [Islam] [Right Speech] [Media] // [Military]
8. “Can we talk at breakfast please?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right Speech] [Meditation retreats]
8. “Isn’t there a story about when Ajahn Chah wanted to give feedback to a senior monk and he waited 20 or 30 years?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech] // [Ajahn Baen] [Vinaya] [Protocols] [Cleanliness]
1. “A question regarding the 5 precepts. In daily life, I am really good about keeping #1, 2, 3 and 5; but somehow I found that the precept #4 is really hard. I find myself lying everyday such as: ‘Do I look good?’ → Yes, of course. ‘Do you want to eat some more?’ → No, thanks, I’m full (but in fact the food didn’t taste good). Or speaking at a wrong time, speaking too long, too short, too harsh or speaking with a wrong tone of voice. This is the hardest one for me. Kindly advise. Thank you.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Five Precepts] [False speech ] [Right Speech ] // [Monastic life] [Precepts ] [Pāli] [Learning]
Quote: “The function of the precepts in terms of practice is to provide a mirror so we can understand our own intentions and volitions.” [Volition]
11. “Do you have any tips for embodying the Dhamma in business situations when negotiating with aggressive individuals? I tend to walk away at a certain point, but am wondering if there’s another way to turn it around, make it better for everyone?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Dhamma] [Work] [Right Speech] // [Goodwill] [Trust] [Clear comprehension] [Truth]
[Session] Reading: “Why am I Talking?”, Beginning Our Day Vol. 2 by the Abhayagiri Saṅgha, pp. 92-94. Read by Ajahn Kassapo. [Right Speech]
1. Recollection: Ajahn Dohn’s recollection of teaching on mindfulness to develop right speech. Recounted by Ajahn Jotipālo. [Ajahn Dohn] [Mindfulness] [Right Speech]
1. Reflection by Ajahn Pasanno: Working with internal and external aspects of our speech. [Right Speech] // [Conditionality] [Mindfulness] [Volition]
Sutta: MN 44.14: The root level of speech is vitakka-vicāra. [Directed thought and evaluation]
3. Comment by Ajahn Jotipālo: Discerning what to say based on skillful and unskillful mental qualities (AN 4.183) seems tricky. [Skillful qualities] [Unskillful qualities] [Right Speech]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Unwholesome Roots] [Suffering]
Sutta: AN 4.192: Facts.
4. “Why does the Abhaya Sutta (MN 58) mention the possibility of speech that is beneficial but disagreeable but Snp 3.3 does not?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right Speech] // [Sutta] [Teaching Dhamma] [Buddha]
Comments contrasting the context of the two suttas. [Right Speech]
5. Comment: If you become a monk or live a more simple life, it would be easier to speak right speech. [Monastic life] [Simplicity] [Right Speech]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right Speech]
Teaching from Ajahn Chah: Don’t admonish anyone before the meal. [Ajahn Chah] [Admonishment/feedback]
6. Story: Ajahn Sumedho admonishes a misbehaving monk at Pāṭimokkha when Ajahn Chah was away. The monk disappears the next day. Told by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Admonishment/feedback] [Pāṭimokkha] [Right Speech] // [Culture/Thailand] [Ajahn Chah]
Quote: “True but not right; right but not true.” — Ajahn Chah. [Truth]
7. Story: Ajahn Amaro waits three years before admonishing a senior monk. Told by Ajahn Jotipālo and Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Amaro] [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech]
8. “When is it useful to discuss the conduct of another person?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Malicious speech] [Virtue] [Right Speech]
Sutta: AN 4.183: Speak when unwholesome qualities decrease and wholesome qualities increase.
9. “If you have said something unskillful, what is the best way to face that?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Unskillful qualities] [Right Speech] // [Forgiveness] [Truth]
10. “My dad says, ‘Reprimand in private; reward in public.’ What would the Buddha say about that?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech]
Follow-up: “Are there stories of the Buddha coming down on people for a good reason?” [Buddha/Biography] [Pāli]
11. Reflection by Ajahn Jotipālo: The importance of asking permission before asking forgiveness or admonishing someone. [Forgiveness] [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech]
Reference: Criteria for admonishment in the Buddhist Monastic Code’s discussion of Bhikkhu Saṅghādisesā 8.
12. “Could you speak more about the list of topics for speech to remind you of practice (AN 10.69)?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Idle chatter] [Right Speech]
Follow-up: “What about the worldly topics of conversation?”
13. Comment: The constant chatter in the mind is also part of Right Speech. [Directed thought and evaluation] [Right Speech]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Mindfulness] [Conditionality]
14. “Is there any place for small talk/social lubricant in Right Speech?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Jotipālo. [Idle chatter ] [Right Speech]
1. “Is there a way to have wholesome intentions around topics such as wars and politics?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right Speech] [Politics and society] [Idle chatter ]
3. Comment: “One of the greatest challenges of Right Speech is when you know something is wrong, and it’s right in your face …” [Right Speech]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno.
6. Comment: Some people may need to restrain their speech; others may need to push themselves to speak up. [Right Speech] [Community] // [Politics and society]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Spiritual bypass] [Right Speech]
Sutta: AN 5.198: Speech. [Right Speech]
8. “What if you’re in a situation with multiple people involved and you want to say something disagreeable to an individual that would be skillful for the group?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Politics and society] [Right Speech] [Community] // [Truth] [Goodwill]
Quote: “The intention has a big impact on how it lands.” [Right Intention]
Sutta: MN 26.25: The Buddha’s encounter with Upaka. [Buddha/Biography]
1. Reading and commentary on the definition of Right Speech in MN 41.13. Read by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right Speech] // [Unskillful qualities] [Skillful qualities] [False speech] [Malicious speech] [Harsh speech] [Idle chatter]
14. “When talking with friends, sometimes the topic of faith and religion comes up. Normally, I find this topic pleasant and enjoyable, but on occasion, I find myself in conversation with somebody who believes (often quite insistently) that their faith is “the only way”. Do you have an advice on how I might skillfully navigate these situations?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Faith] [Right Speech] [Spiritual traditions]
16. “During the Christmas holiday, I’m going to be spending some time with relatives who do not share my same political views. In the spirit of wanting to understand their views and wanting to heal the divide that exists in our country, I want to talk about the election with them. How do I have this conversation skillfully?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Politics and society ] [Right Speech ] // [Judgementalism] [Listening] [Human] [Sense restraint]
6. “Is there a place to point out others’ difficulties [in the practice]?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech] [Community] [Monastic life] [Saṅgha] // [Ajahn Chah] [Teaching Dhamma]
7. “In what way are qualities and effects viral? Are right perception, right speech, right thought, and right action also viral?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Media] [Online community] [Perception] [Right View] [Right Speech] [Right Action] // [Abhayagiri] [History/Western Buddhism] [Mindfulness] [Skillful qualities] [Happiness] [Tranquility] [Trust] [Human]
5. “When someone shows you how to do something correctly but the manner in which they convey the message is rude, what is the most skillful thing you can do to let the person know they were perceived as rude but fully absorb the content of their beneficial message?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech] // [Cultural context] [Equanimity] [Nonviolent Communication]
6. Reflection by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo: Lovingkindness in speech and the ethic of sharing circles at Abhayagiri. [Goodwill] [Right Speech] [Abhayagiri] [Sharing circles] [Communal harmony] // [Principles of Cordiality] [Ajahn Sudanto] [Listening] [Nonviolent Communication] [Conflict]
Sutta: MN 48.6: Kosambī Sutta.
5. “How does one practice wise restraint in lay life when one has to deal with family, friends, coworkers, and so on? Especially on the level of speech and emotions that one encounters.” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Sense restraint] [Lay life] [Right Speech] [Emotion] // [Discernment] [Unwholesome Roots] [Appropriate attention] [Continuity of mindfulness] [Mindfulness of body] [Clear comprehension]
Vinaya: Conditions for skillful admonishment in the Buddhist Monastic Code’s discussion of Bhikkhu Saṅghādisesā 8. [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech]
4. Comment by Ajahn Kaccāna: When discussing views, it is not helpful to put people into a corner where they must either defend their view or admit their stupidity. [Views] [Right Speech]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Relinquishment]
Sutta: MN 63.9.
1. Quote: “Whatever speech doesn’t take into account the reality of impermanence is not the speech of wise person.” — Ajahn Chah. Quoted by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Right Speech] [Discernment] [Impermanence]
12. “When someone opens up about issues or something difficult they are dealing with, when should one just listen and when should one say something that might help?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Listening ] [Right Speech] [Compassion] // [Spiritual friendship] [Trust] [Virtue] [Goodwill] [Admonishment/feedback] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Abbot] [Ajahn Chah]