Conceit and guilt (māna)
Includes tags: Conceit, Guilt/shame/inadequacy, Judgementalism, Perfectionism, Jealousy, Competitiveness, Selfishness, Self-pity
2. “What advice do you have for students or graduates hoping to progess on the Noble Path towards Nibbāna while a student or in the workplace?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Eightfold Path] [Nibbāna] [Education] [Work] [Lay life ] // [Human] [Discernment] [Compassion] [Generosity] [Perfectionism] [Desire] [Suffering] [Politics and society] [Simplicity] [Environment] [Depression] [Restlessness and worry] [Skillful qualities] [Community]
8. “You mentioned that ruminating on how one would like to change the world or the conditions around oneself can be a source of needless suffering. But there are times when one does want to work to change the world or the way society is organized for the sake of lovingkindness and alleviating suffering. How do we engage with those desire for change in a skillful way?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Politics and society] [Suffering] [Desire] [Goodwill] [Compassion] [Skillful qualities] [Activism] // [Conditionality] [Self-identity view] [Conflict] [Poverty] [Judgementalism] [Aversion] [Culture/Thailand] [Environment] [Idealism]
Quote: “If one is going to commit oneself to change, one has to get used to looking at things from a big perspective, a perspective of ‘How do we include rather than exclude?’” [Community]
Quote: “You want to approach a particular problem with an open a mind as possible and then see who might be willing and able to help.”
12. “What is the difference between emptiness, nothingness, and space? How can I use colors to develop the mind?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Emptiness] [Kasiṇa] // [Self-identity view] [Relinquishment] [Conceit] [Middle Path] [Etymology] [Not-self] [Elements] [Tranquility] [History/Early Buddhism] [Culture/West]
5. “How to get rid of judgemental critical thoughts about others?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] // [Craving not to become] [Goodwill] [Compassion] [Similes]
5. “In regard to compassion practice, I feel as if I have refined the awareness of myself and how my actions impact others. Also, my sensitivity has increased. If I feel that I have said or done something that caused someone hurt, I immediately attempt to clean it up. At the same time, I feel great pain for having been unskillful. Please advise on how to refine my understanding so that I suffer less for this.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Compassion] [Conscience and prudence] [Suffering] // [Self-identity view] [Respect] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Skillful qualities]
7. Reflection by Ajahn Pasanno: Abhayagiri: a place of safety. [Fear] [Abhayagiri] // [Pāli] [Realms of existence] [Culture/West] [Competitiveness] [Abuse/violence]
3. “In living with others, we tend to stick with our perceptions, causing potential conflict with them. How can we accept others as they are and be able to live with others harmoniously?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Perception] [Conflict] [Communal harmony] // [Goodwill] [Judgementalism] [Generosity]
5. “What is the attitude to have towards others who are not on the path but are close family members?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Family] // [Judgementalism] [Respect]
9. “Could you suggest some inquiry questions to contemplate and investigate the wisdom practice of equanimity?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Recollection] [Discernment] [Equanimity] // [Kamma] [Judgementalism]
Reference: Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 55.
7. “I’m lucky not to have any obligations such as taking care of a family, making money, working, etc., but I don’t know what to do with my life....Always wondering what to do with my life is a bit tough. How would you suggest I approach the situation?...How do you figure out what to do with your life when you have too much freedom?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Purpose/meaning] [Work] // [Culture/West] [Right Effort] [Conceit] [Generosity]
See also Question 3 in this same session.
8. Reflection by Ajahn Ñāṇiko: Practice doesn’t have to be grim. [Eightfold Path] [Ardency] [Perfectionism] [Abhayagiri] // [Happiness] [Ajahn Ñāṇiko]
Recollection: Old video footage of Abhayagiri. [Mae Chee Sansanee] [Kaṭhina]
10. “I am taken by the idea of volition. Can one enter volition without judgement?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Volition] [Judgementalism] // [Kamma] [Killing]
11. “How to deal with self-blame due to losing a loved one to suicide?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Suicide] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Volition] [Proliferation] [Relinquishment] [Western psychology] [Forgiveness]
Quote: “People who commit suicide leave their skeletons in other people’s closets.” — Steven Levine.
10. Principle of Cordiality #6: Core aspects of Right View that lead to communal harmony: Our actions have consequences. We can change. Liberation is possible. Teaching by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Principles of Cordiality] [Right View ] [Saṅgha] [Kamma] [Communal harmony ] [Right Effort] [Liberation] // [Judgementalism] [Habits] [Four Noble Truths]
Sutta: MN 48: Kosambi Sutta.
1. “What can I do to stop judging?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] // [Suffering] [Relinquishment]
5. “A sense of causeless joy permeates awareness, yet there remains a sense of me that experiences. How to dissolve that?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Happiness] [Knowing itself] [Conceit] // [Noble Truth of Suffering] [Suffering] [Relinquishment]
18. “You’ve lived a life dedicated to the spiritual quest of a Buddhist monk. What advice would you give to someone who’s starting out on the Eightfold Path and may have an interest in ordaining as a monk or nun?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Spiritual search ] [Monastic life] [Eightfold Path] [Monastic life/Motivation] [Ajahn Pasanno] // [Appropriate attention] [Culture/West] [Perfectionism] [Happiness] [Right Effort] [Patience]
2. Comment: If I’m able to settle into ease and spaciousness this time, the next time I sit, it doesn’t settle as easily, and I get frustrated and tense wanting to get to that ease again. [Tranquility] [Meditation/General advice] [Restlessness and worry] [Desire] [Judgementalism]
Response by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Mindfulness of body] [Present moment awareness]
19. “When one moves through the world with compassion and lovingkindness, how does one avoid feeling depleted? In a world of ‘individuals,’ most take more than they give and to always be giving can be exhausting.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Compassion] [Goodwill] [Selfishness] [Generosity] [Depression] // [Not-self] [Four Noble Truths] [Cause of Suffering]
Quote: “When we are attentive to freedom from suffering, there’s an inexhaustible well of goodness there.” [Cessation of Suffering] [Skillful qualities]
5. “What would be your advice when young monks are wavering in their decsion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Monastic life/Motivation ] [Doubt] // [Fear] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Noble Truth of Suffering] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Delusion] [Continuity of mindfulness] [Mindfulness of body]
Recurrent refrain in the Suttas: “I know you, Māra,” e. g. SN 4.1, SN 4.5. [Māra] [Sutta] [Knowing itself]
1. “What should one consider when looking for a teacher or guru to guide one’s personal journey?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Teachers ] [Mentoring] [Discernment] // [Ajahn Chah] [Determination] [Truth] [Perfectionism] [Personality]
Quote: “I saw many people show up [at Wat Pah Pong] with their list of what they thought a perfect teacher should be....and they would leave.” [Perfectionism]
Quote: “It is only when we are willing to give ourselves to truth or reality that the teacher makes sense.”
1. “How do you deal with a friend who has commited suicide and the despair and grief that comes with that? How do you support a friend who has feelings of seeking annihilation and wanting to kill themselves?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Suicide] [Depression] [Grief] [Craving not to become] // [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Compassion] [Suffering] [Language] [Cessation of Suffering] [Fear]
Quote: “Compassion is a skillful or beautiful response to the suffering of the world.” [Skillful qualities]
3. “What to do with negative thoughts?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Proliferation] [Unskillful qualities] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Skillful qualities]
3. “What is the difference between the fetter of self-view and the one of conceit? Where does the desire to be personally known and cared for stop?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro. [Self-identity view] [Conceit ] // [Not-self] [Aggregates] [Similes] [Insight meditation]
Sutta: SN 22.89: Khemaka Sutta.
3. Story: Ajahn Mahā Boowa argues with Ajahn Mun, then can’t access higher states of concentration. Told by Ajahn Amaro. [Ajahn Mahā Boowa ] [Ajahn Mun] [Concentration] // [Conceit] [Insight meditation]
Story: Mae Chee Kaew insisted that meditation connected with [supernatural] beings was the right way; Ajahn Mahā Boowa threw her out. Told by Ajahn Sundarā. [Mae Chee Kaew] [Non-human beings] [Fierce/direct teaching]
2. “As the ten fetters start to be cut, can you expect to not get so lost in feelings and thoughts? Does the time you get lost reduce?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro. [Fetters] [Heedlessness] // [Stream entry] [Realms of existence] [Non-return] [Sensual desire] [Ill-will] [Once return] [Fame and disrepute] [Conceit] [Blame and praise] [Craving for material existence] [Craving for immaterial existence]
Reference: Śhūrangama Sūtra, Fifty Skandha Demon States.